Cinderella review

After a long hard battle, there was a close call but the winner, fair and square is……Cinderella!!!! Next week will be McFarland in honor of our close call, but until then CINDERELLA!

Well I saw this movie and I had sooooo much fun and I really enjoyed the movie! I have honestly never enjoyed the Disney princess trademark but I LOVE THIS MOVIE!! It takes a movie that had practically no character and turned it into an amazing work of improvement and artistic genius. The character, IMMPECABLE, the story, makes a ton more sense, and don’t even get me stared on the environment…. IT’S GORGEOUS. I love it!

Now I am going to go over a few negatives in my fashion and then go back to immortalizing the movie. First of all, one problem was the drop of the hat death that takes place in the first five minutes of the film! Of course you know the story of how the mother dies and you do actually get to see the mother die rather than have it be a Cliff Note, but here there is a narrator, in mainly the beginning of the film, and when the mom dies, she (the narrator) is talking about the family and how sorrow would happen to them, and then immediately the mother just collapses. Like instantly. And I was just sitting there thinking, like really guys? There couldn’t be any progression of time or her at least coughing!?! Another problem is that in the famous dress ripping scene they just rip the shoulder, and I was like, you didn’t know you were going to be seeing a prince. I mean, in her mind he was just an apprentice… just stich up the sleeve and go. At the end of the movie the step mother locks Cinderella up in the attic and the prince comes to find her, and what is our motivated princess going to do? Not care and sing of course! I got really mad at this. I thought that the original captured the desperation of Cinderella trying to get out of the attic, but here it’s like “oh a life of happiness? Pish! Who needs that?!?!” Now this may be a preference, but if you are going to update a movie, update what is needed not what is not!

Now for the Fantastic parts of the movie! This Step Mother has an actual reason to be evil once she marries into the family. She tries to bring life back to the house, but on one party she realizes that she will never be a part of the family and over a progression of time turns more vile towards Cinderella. This was a needed touch the reason being that in the original she had no reason to be mean to Cinderella and it was kind of confusing, honestly. I also like that they explain why Cinderella is called Cinderella. It is tied in ingeniously and is proof that my theory was right! One more thing that was fantastically done was the prince! OH MY GOSH, THANK YOU FOR THE PRINCE!!! This character went from the most bland generic person ever created to a multiple layered, complex character that I actually enjoyed watching!

If I listed everything that was right with this movie it would take you three years to read it all. But for right now, this is what you have to read. I highly recommend this movie to anyone of any age, and I hope you view it soon!

45 Seconds review

I honestly like this song and although most of the time I have strong opinions on almost everything, with this song I understand why some people don’t like it. This isn’t like Lips are Moving, Happy or Ain’t it Fun where I couldn’t imagine being in the same species as you if you did not like these songs, here there are some MAJOR flaws; but, if you can see past that, there is a really good song hidden underneath.

First of all, I surprisingly find myself getting wrapped up in the ‘characters’ presented. I say characters because the people clearly meant to be singing this song are people who are struggling, whether it’s with conforming to ‘The System’ or finding their way home, they are clearly supposed to be struggling. Now, I don’t know if Rihanna and Kanye West should be portraying these people seeing as they are super rich and pampered but they do a decent job and do sound rough around the edges.

Now for the problems, maybe the worst part about this song is Kanye West with his first verse, he sounds like a cranky teenager and with that sound of a chocking Rhianna it the back round, it doesn’t exactly work out to the best of its abilities. Another bad part of the song is the fact that the singing isn’t all that great either they kind of sound like they are groaning and moaning as opposed to actual singing I think its part of the theme of the song but still if you have built your career on your singing skills, you better bring it. The last and by far worst part of the song is the music video it is literally just Rhianna and Kanye switching back and forth it front of the camera according to the order of the verses with literally no story or explanation on what is going on and Rhianna looks HORIBLE she looks even worse than homeless!

Now with all of that said I still like this song because it’s new and has a good style and beat and its catchy as heck!

Next week I want to rely on you I am going to leave three movies below and in the comments let me know witch one you want me to do.

Cinderella

McFarland

Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

Gravity Falls Theories

Well after my return to my love of Gravity Falls, I have decided to share my theories of what might happen.

For those of you who don’t know Gravity Falls is a show about two children named Dipper and Mabel who go to spend Summer with their great uncle (a.k.a Grunkle Stan) when they arrive, they locate a mysterious journal about the mysteries of Gravity Falls and they began a quest to find the author and unlock the mysteries.

Well my theory about who the author is, is that the author is Grunkle Stan’s brother and I can kind of prove this because in the episode The Society of The Blind Eye the end is Grunkle Stan working with a portal and I think That Grunkle Stan is attempting to locate his brother that was swept away in a portal after hiding the two other journals. Grunkle Stan’s brother worked in some high up government position also proven in The Society Of The Blind Eye and another episode of season two Scary-oke were two government officials come in to also unlock the mysteries of the town with FULL knowledge about the journals and the secrets they hide so maybe… just maybe Stan’s brother told the wrong people about his secrets. Another theory I have is that Stan himself is the author because in episode Into The Bunker the gang goes to the place they found they had originally found the journal and as well as in the vending machine there is a secret passage that leads to an experimental lab, soo maybe an abandoned lab of Stan’s. No constellation yet but just a theory. My last theory is that Soos is the author because in the episode Soos And The Real Girl there is a sticky note that says Password:Fixnit1 and if you watch episode Sock Opera  the password is eight digits long well Fixnit1 is eight digits long and Soos also fixed the laptop, see the connection.

Well my theories might be wrong but from what I have uncovered these theories seemed the most logical.

My Little Pony Crossover review w/ Lily

Lily: So, Taylor and I have decided to do a crossover review about my little pony, since she has problems with it and I like it. BTW Taylor, grown men don’t watch this. 😦

Taylor: Yes full grown men do watch this show, they are called Bronys and it scares me a little bit.

Lily: NO

Taylor: YES, but anyway we are getting side tracked the point is I don’t hate this show I have just have problems with it, it seems a little… odd.

Lily: I think the show is really cute because it creates often scenarios about friendship and how they fix them

Taylor: I am going to respectfully disagree I think that the way the characters react is highly unlikely, and a little bit weird but, it’s cute.

Lily: Poop you. I think that its really sweet. NOW WHERE IS MEH APPLE JUICE?!?!?!

Taylor: Not the point!!! The one thing I can agree with you on is that it’s in fact creative and they can really go out there in terms of characters and scenarios.

Lily: True. but, I think that your wrong when it says that it has problems.

Taylor: Well the thing that really bothers me is that they live in a reality were there are anthropomorphic ponies and yet birds are still birds and bunnies are still bunnies.

Lily: Well, whatever…….THE END 😉

Taylor: BYE GUYS LOVE YOU!!!

Thinking Out Loud review

I have a theory… here it is:

I think that Ed Sheeran personally hates me and that’s why he wrote this song, so that everyone else can love this song and I can be the only one who thinks it’s boring and needs to be ERASED FROM THE PLANET!!! Please send me hate filled comments (Torrie) I don’t care. I HATE, HATE, HATE this song, it’s just so boring and dull and oh my gosh how can Ed Sheeran produce two songs that I love  (Sing and Don’t) and then put out this piece of absolute GARBAGE, this boring boring garbage… it’s just I thought he was good and then he let me down!!! ‘sniff sniff’ I had faith in him and then he betrayed me, I’m hurt.

Now for a much shorter review, let me list what’s right with this song:

For starters, the premise isn’t bad it’s just the way it is sung and presented. Ed Sheeran’s voice isn’t bad, but it leaves a lot to be desired.

I think I have just gotten picky about Ed Sheeran’s songs because he has put out such good material and when he puts out something as dull as this I get more angry than is probably necessary.

If you agree with me THANK YOU and please let me know in the comments. If you disagree with me I am banning you from my blog!!

See you next week

Sponge Out Of Water review

Call me crazy but I never really liked Sponge Bob, I mean it wasn’t a bad show… I watched it but, I never became a fan of the show  juts got bored of watching the same shtick that the show seemed to have, but with all of that said I was still excided to go see the movie, I wasn’t expecting much but I was legitimately excided to see what they would do with the adaptation .

It was actually pretty good it wasn’t ground breaking or very original but neither was the show, it as very cute and stupid, but it seams very self aware of its own stupidity witch some how makes it good, I just thought is was entertaining.

The one thing that bothered me about the show was that one of the characters Sandy (who is a squirrel) was C.G.Ied just like the rest of the characters, but when they get their super powers Sandy wasn’t like the rest of them she is a giant realistic looking squirrel, I mean like she looked like a real squirrel and the other characters were riding her like a horse even though she was one of the main characters in the show and probably one of the most interesting to watch, all I have to say on that topic is

#squirrels are people too

Not the Only One review

Taybear Reviews

Just a quick shout out to all of my fans from Mrs. Upmeyers class THANK YOU!!! I love you all, you are all sooooooooo sweet!!

I HATE THIS SONG, it is depressing, unnatural, and just a sad sad sad excuse of a song!!!! Allow me to explain… I like Sam Smith’s voice it’s nice and soothing, but his shtick seems to be making people sad and that some how makes him enjoyable? I don’t understand the so called “fun” that comes from listening to his songs but whatever it’s not my eardrums that will be bleeding. I just think this song is too depressing to listen to and I just all around don’t like it.

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Not the Only One review

Just a quick shout out to all of my fans from Mrs. Upmeyers class THANK YOU!!! I love you all, you are all sooooooooo sweet!!

I HATE THIS SONG, it is depressing, unnatural, and just a sad sad sad excuse of a song!!!! Allow me to explain… I like Sam Smith’s voice it’s nice and soothing, but his shtick seems to be making people sad and that some how makes him enjoyable? I don’t understand the so called “fun” that comes from listening to his songs but whatever it’s not my eardrums that will be bleeding. I just think this song is too depressing to listen to and I just all around don’t like it.

Paddington review

Im sorry I haven’t posted in a while but my family had Christmas, My birthday and me my dad and my little brother went to California for my dad because his base ball number is being retired (which is a HUGE honor) and I am sooooooooo proud of him

Anyway its time to get serious… lets talk about talking bears. Well I thought it was REALLY GREAT I thought the plot was a relativity strong but wasn’t anything ground breaking. The bear C.G.I was the most realistic thing I have ever seen put on film besides the real thing you could see every fur strand every glint in his eyes and every shading was perfectly timed and done. The charters were compelling and they had good story arch’s the most interesting one though was the Nanny she was hilarious she didn’t get many lines but they show her as a very feisty Irish woman whom distracts  a security guard in the climax with a drinking contest and it was quite possibly the funniest thing EVER.

I really Loved this film and I suggest… no sorry I ORDER you to go view this movie

#I AM BACK

Cool Kids review

I HATE this more than I have EVER hated anything before do you want to know why….

BECAUSE ITS AWFUL!!! Its not catchy, the tune stinks, the music video is a bore, the artists have no talent what so ever and the worst of them all… the premise is a LIE a total and outright LIE!!!

For those fortunate enough to have not heard the song go on YouTube and take a listen…

go on I will wait…

still waiting…

…go on…take your time…

now wasn’t that horrendous, now you might be wondering to yourself why do you think the is a lie well let me explain.

Do you remember when you were a little kid and soon you would be moving up to elementary school, and do you ever remember thinking you would be riding a school bus but you actually never ended up doing so, but you thought so because a bunch of children’s songs and books said that you would and then you were disappointed. Well its the EXSACT SAME THING!! there is literally no difference except for the age group. because as a current middle schooler I know that when you go to middle school it is too flipping big to for a ‘social pyramid’ and therefore no ‘cool kids’ to be writing songs about and you know I get that there are some jerks who don’t include other people but those people aren’t cool they are jerks and this song  is just shoving propaganda into your minds you never the ‘cool kid’

Now you might be saying to yourself it might be about bullying well if you know me you know that I have a problem with the way we teach about that too.

I have been bullied before but the way to handle it is to make the bully know not to mess with you without physical confrontation and avoid all contact if possible but if it get to a really bad point tell an adult because if you keep complaining about the bully the teacher will eventually not punish the bully leaving you stranded with nowhere to go but the media is expecting us to just completely complain and complain until something is done and in real life all that does is make the teacher want to help you less and less.

now the last thing is that even if the song premise was changed the song would still stink because the artists are just emo freaks and have absolutely no talent the lead singer basically just speaks the lyrics and the backup instrumentalists just play a boring sad little unidentifiable instrument.

Do you understand now…

In the comments below tell me witch song you hate the most.

See you next week!